Travelling in UP is similar to standing at the edge of a mountain like a lemming waiting to jump off. The road from Delhi to Mussoorie is a testimony to that. Flyovers that started being constructed 5 years back, potholes with some plain patches called the road, pedestrians who think the road belongs to their forefathers, blazing heat...... you get the picture, right?
Jaya and I once again took off on 22nd/may at 5:30 AM. We were headed to Kankhal, on the outskirts of Hardwar, to the Ma AnandMayee ashram where my teacher stays 10 days a month. Let me rewind here a bit. So we left a 5:30 AM and stopped at Meerut to meet my grandparents. It was special because my grand parents are a laugh riot and Meerut is special for me as my childhood was spent there. My parents were married there, the food is awesome, places and people are familar and my grand folks are known somuchso that I have seen shopkeepers come out of their shops to pay their respect to them. Its a privilege to walk the streets of Meerut with my GP's.
We were there at 7:30 AM ready for some tea. Tea, we had followed by home made kebabs, the smell of which can be visualized on my computer screen. Kebabs, omelletes and paranthas is what went in. What came out was sleep; couldnt afford that because we had to be n our way. Saying our goodbyes et all, we left for Kankhal. Like I initially said, the roads in UP are an experience - an experience which separates the soul from the body. Notorious drivers with an attitude as big as polyps in the arse is how I would describe the drivers in UP. Muzaffarnagar is another town with a reputation of a dacoit. I was turning right from a round about when a maruti van came the wrong way and touched my car. The driver had a nasty smile on his face and after I shared some references with him vis-a-vis the ladies in his family, i was thirsty and hungry. At the railway crossing just after Muzaffarnagar are many carts and "thelas" selling fruit chaat and cucumbers and radishes and carrots with masalas. After we bought 2 bad cucumbers and 2 good radishes we were on our way again.
Finally we reached Kankhal. Sensei was in his new abode with a fancy fridge which I was eying for the dojo but was told off. He has two dogs that he shares his bathroom with. One, I named Mr. Rickets and other is Kallu. Mr. Rickets, with his brown fur, was friendly, sometimes a bit too much, but friendly none the less. For some strange reason, these dogs are not allowed to go for a walk because the landlord doesn't live there. There is one chap who comes and feeds Mr. Rickets and Kallu and give them water, but that's about it. I thought they would have flipped their lid but these chaps were very friendly. Something interesting I noticed at the door of Sensei's room which fits in the category of Jugaad. There was a hug white plastic bag with water hanging on his door. Apparently, no flies come in to the room with the plastic bag there. Its true, there weren't any inside the room. Fascinating!
After lunch at a dhaba, we went off to the AnandMayee Ma's personal ghat to have a wash in the ganga. We did 100 dips in the ganga. The attendant of the ghat/museum was very kind and got us a mattress to rest. rest, we did, by the banks of the ganges. Ganga is fascinating and special and divine and holy and a bit dirty too strewn with plastic bags, not too many, but they were there for sure. You could see people taking a dip from a distance. There was No one where we were as it was the private ghat that belonged to the AnandMayee Ma's ashram except two young rajasthani boys who were swimming the whole stretch in front of the ghat. They though were we NRI's/ foreigners somuchso that they looked dazed as soon as I spoke to them in Hindi. Post our dip, we saw Ma's ashram which had artifacts and clothes and hundreds of photographs of Ma in different states of divine ecstacy. Completely enchanting. Jai Ma!
Once we said our goodbyes and had some green colored yet very tasty shikanji, we left for the Kaliyar Sharif Dargah just outside Roorkee. We had to get to a state road from the National Highway to get to Kaliyar. The road is amazing running along a canal with trees trying their best to provide us shade. The trees managed a bit of the shade. The visual treat that the drive provided us was a treat to the senses. After an hour, we reached Kaliyar Sharif. This 800-year-old shrine is dedicated to Baba Sabir, a medieval Muslim saint known for his miracles. Another Muslim saint Qutbe-Alam built the Baba’s grave and the mosque at Kaliyar. As we entered the dargah, we heard screams and laughter all over. We saw 12 women, all in a state of trance, either trying to climb the walls of the shrine or banging their heads on the wall, trying to fly. We saw one girl in what I could best describe as divine ecstasy who was lying on her back dragging herself sweeping the floor with her hair. It was quite a scene. After we offered flowers at the dargah, we bought a degchi that could cook around 3 kgs of meat.
Jaya and I like to cook for ourselves and friends who visit us. Surprisingly all our friends are big eaters and to cook in two vessels is a lot of pain. It is our first degchi. Almost brings tears to my eyes and a growl in my stomach. It was 5:30 PM and we were done with our agenda. We went to Ma's ashram, bathed in the Ganga with a 100 dips hoping to wash our sins. Obviously my sins are way too many and a 100 dips didn't suffice. So the dargah had to be done. Did that. Now what?
We decided to head back to Delhi. It sounded like a marathon journey. I had been driving since half 5 in the morning and I was still driving. My co-driver wasn't doing her job of being a co-driver. Besides, co-driving and helping with the navigation, I believe, the co-driver's job is also to take care of the driver's hunger and thirst pangs and also keep telling the driver that he is a good chap and blah blah blah. J did all but the co-driving part. But then, love sometimes is the rescue remedy to all follies. He he he he!
We decided to go along side the gang nahar which is a single lane for 120 kms all the way to muradnagar. It is a tricky road as there are a lot of potholes for a few stretches but overall the traffic is much lesser. And we wanted to continue the visual treat of the canal, the trees and the adjoining fields. We kept driving and driving and finally sleep starting taking over. Ideally, we would have liked to come back to Delhi but I could hear from the distant corner of my mind, a hallucinogenic voice saying, “bashir bashir, kebabs, kebabs”. How can it be that those divine kebabs are not consumed while in Meerut.
As luck would have had it, I called Vikram Malik – a friend I have know for over a decade and he happened to be in Meerut. After retiring from the Army after 5 years, Malik now works as a PSO for Dr. Vijay Mallya in Mumbai. He and his lovely wife Manisha were in Meerut with Malik’s parents. Vikram and Manisha invited us over to their place to spend the night and it was a offer I couldn’t refuse as I could barely keep my hands on the steering. We decided to meet outside London Sports – a landmark around which you get the famous Meerut chaat, matri and 5 minutes walk away, is Alpha Bakery where the most divine fruit buns are bought. I have grown up and grown wide eating the Alpha Buns. After Jaya and I bought a dozen of buns and had 2 rasgullas, which cooled our bodies, Malik arrived and we headed to bashir bashir bashir bashir – giving life to the clairaudient in me.
Meerut is my grandparents place and I have grown up with so many memories. Playing Golf as a kid, driving past what is called the Paltan Mandir – the temple where the mutiny of 1857 started, eating matri and channa bhaturas (bhaturas are stuffed with Paneer) and the famous Bashir beef kebabs. Since Bashir Mian’s son took over the grill, the kebabs, I must confess have improved. They are not that dry anymore. And they have become bigger too and expensive. Because Jaya was with us, I suggested that we go and sit in the family room upstairs rather than hang around outside in the heat with people going a bit ballistic pushing each other to get to the kebabs. I am not surprised nor am I complaining! I would start a holy war for the kebabs. They are out of the world and 2-3 plates are never enough. Anyway, we reached the family room and to our disgust, the staff refused to get us the kebabs upstairs. We were told “kebabs niche, mutton aur chicken uppar”. So we went downstairs after contorting our faces at the waiter.
We wanted to order some Chicken and Muttom qorma but we were told, “ Kebab niche, chicken aur mutton uppar”. Now that did it. I had to attack bashir mian with a strong reference to my gray hair and how I have grown up eating bashir kebabs. What happened next could have awarded Bashir mian a fatwa. He broke the rule of the restaurant and told his estranged brother who runs the restaurant upstairs to get the chicken aur mutton qorma niche. And we gorged on the grub. Hungry we were and how!
After the feast, we headed to Malik’s place. Usually, I keep my stomach pulled in but after a feast, even the muscles cry. I looked drugged on food. We were greeted by Malik’s mother and wife and sister and immediately quick references were made to my size. I had nothing to say. It was true. I have gained weight from when I was 17. But then who doesn’t? That was 13 years back and children grow. Some grow more, some grow less, but they grow. And I am no exception. They were very happy to meet Jaya and blessed her a few times. After a while, I excused myself. I was smelling like the infamous Abu naala in Meerut – like a pig sty. A bath was what I needed and usually as it always happens, whenever Manisha and I are together, we end up screwing Malik’s happiness. And we did with pleasure. He tried his best too but then you cant bank on the same old joke for years. You need creativity and I was oozing it at that hour.
Atithi Devo Bhava –it is so true. Malik and Manisha offered us their bed and lay themselves on the mattress on the floor. That silenced and humbled me and I will never forget the wonderful gesture. We shared a couple of Smokes together and we crashed..... like nine pins.
We had to get to Delhi in the morning. We did eventually at 11:30 AM after a quick halt at Muradnagar for shikanji, aloo tikki and mixed pakoras and that is how our weekend trip concluded – FULL!
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